Trigger Warning/Disclaimer: mentions of death and suicide; also note that these are just passive thoughts.
Valerie Scarlett Cassandra was found dead on 28th February at the crack of dawn in her room, the only place that was familiar with all her inner demons. She had slit her wrists the previous night, for reasons inexplicable to others and somewhat even to her. All she could fathom was that she had lost the will to carry forward in life. She had no energy to carry out the most basic chores, including braiding her hair, brushing her teeth or even making her bed, let alone indulging in her interests of baking treats for her beloved ones, picking up a children’s classic to unfold layers of her distorted life or summarizing her thoughts with all the fanciest words she could find. But, just before she chose to end her life, she somehow found just the right amount of strength to grant herself all her desires one last time. A few hours before she passed away, the 27-year-old treated herself to a full English breakfast with some tea to go with it, and spent the rest of her day writing poetry, and even dolled up a bit in a fluttered-sleeve top, which she paired with a half-circle skirt and pranced around like she lived on a prairie. Some would say she celebrated her end.
It wasn’t until late evening that she decided to wrap up her life, but not without finishing her tasks — she made her room look all pretty with gingham bedsheets and vintage-inspired curtains, cleared her desk of scattered notes, and removed all the cobwebs and specs of dust that somehow mocked her very being. On entering her heavenly abode, one would see some fresh yellow and peach blooms entangled with a few stems of baby’s breaths, a bookshelf full of intellect, a collection of cameras that captured both staged and mundane seconds, and on further inspection – her drained body and soul with her lower limbs akimbo.
Tears and regrets lasted only a day, and everyone carried on as usual. The birds still sang in chorus, the fruits of spring hit the newly-tarred roads, people moved on like they would after a movie ended, and that is exactly what she wanted too. What she did wasn’t a cry for help, but a sign of being able to let go of worldly things.
If only it was easy to comprehend the paradox in feeling numb, this obituary would not sound morbid.
4 thoughts on “Death Sweet Death”
Beautifully written. It reminds me of a hymn “Sweet hours of prayer”.❤️
Darling, this is very beautitully written…I grieve over the fact that this is a thing that actually happened…that this is real & life can be so sadly complex, lonely, confusing & overwhelming in this way.
I grieve over the fact that life did move on after Valerie Scarlett’s demise but I am with you in the thought that sometimes resting in peace can be literal 💔That peace can be found in non-existence???
Valerie Scarlett Cassandra; may she continue to rest in peace & may peace & grace be found by those who knew her & still grieve over her…for those that are still battling with closure over the loss of Valerie; battling with the “why”…may peace & grace be availed for others on this side of life who are still fighting to stay alive & they are journeying even in confusion.
Bless you for sharing ❤️
Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Khasoha. Glad you understood where it’s coming from and knowing that there is peace in death.